Saying No To Say Yes
Time is one of very few things in life that is constant. While we do not all have our days guaranteed, on the days we are on Earth, we all have 24 hours in a day. Adopting the mindset that you control how you spend those 24 hours is empowering, allowing you to truly be intentional with your time. “Intention” is the first step in the process I use to work with clients because driving clarity on what is most important for each client helps prioritize, align, and measure the insights and ignite actions to yield the most impact.
Yet, we live in a world where we glorify “hustle culture,” where being busy, saying “yes” to everything, checking things off the list, running from event to event or meeting to meeting, and posting about it on social media for validation and verification. It’s led to burnout, unhealthy habits, and mental and emotional health issues stemming from the pressure to live up to both the busy expectation and the often deep-rooted expectation to say “yes” to everything for fear of missing out (FOMO). What it also leads to is distraction, pushing focus away from the actions that tie to our goals, objectives, and ultimately our values.
To be intentional with our time, we have to get used to saying “No.” Instead of feeling guilty about it, we need to transition our mindset to feel both empowered to make the choice and satisfaction that we have made a choice to re-allocate our time, energy, and attention to something more aligned to our goals and values.
Here’s a few methods I use to help me “Say No.”
Make “No” my mental default: I retrained my brain to think no first. This way, I have to make a conscious choice to say “yes,” evaluating the ask for my time against my goals and values. Most people who default to yes have to rework what they have said yes to in order to “deselect” what they won’t dedicate time toward. Instead, start with no up front.
Set clear objectives and schedule out my time to work on those: Setting clear goals and objectives allows me to leverage calendar tools in two key ways. First, it lets me assess what is on my calendar and how it contributes to those goals. Second, it lets me block time to actually work on those things. By combining the two approaches, it helps ensure I am spending my time in ways that accomplish those goals.
Decline any meetings without a purpose and agenda: This is perhaps one of the most powerful. If a meeting requester cannot provide a reason for meeting and what will be discussed and by who, hit that decline button!
