Age vs. Experience
There is a social, and some may consider a common, courtesy that it is rude to a woman her age, her weight, and if she is pregnant. Like many other women, I have had coworkers ask me these questions in the workplace, at conferences, on phone calls, and at happy hours. As someone who has progressed quickly in my career, particularly in a male-dominated field, many often show signs of surprise when they uncover my age or discover I have a toddler daughter, inferring my age.
Age bias was not something I had personally been exposed to until earlier this year. I was aware of it, though admittedly had thought about it from the traditional lens of someone who is older being stereotyped or unfairly assessed because of their age. Now, multiple times upon first introduction with senior industry leaders, eyebrows raise, heads cock, and foreheads furrow as we greet each other. I envision a cartoon callout above their heads with thoughts like: “Wow, did she just graduate yesterday?” “I have kids as old as her.” “What’s her title again?”
As we engage in conversation, some let their initial bias impact how we interact, choosing quick small talk then making an excuse to exit the conversation. However, some get past it and realize that I am a highly capable and qualified leader. It leads to not only fruitful conversation, but also forms the foundation for a relationship that can range from acquaintance to connection to advisor to future referral.
Here’s a few tips I have used to minimize age bias in my interactions and career.
Dress Professionally: Women in particular tend to be taken more seriously when they “look” the part. After all, sight is one of the most powerful of the five senses and is a key contributor to the crucial 7 seconds that research shows people form a first impression. Be comfortable in what you wear and let it represent you.
Focus on Results: When asked about your experience, focus the conversation on the results you were able to achieve. Structure it in three tiers. First, touch on the objective or mission, emphasizing why what you did was important. Articulating the financial impact is crucial, as business leaders speak in terms of revenue, EBITDA, and cash. If it’s not financially related, talk to the culture, talent, or customer service impact. Second, share how you lead others, whether directly or indirectly, to align to and execute on the goal. Third, share what you directly contributed. This structure shows that you understand business context, leading others, and individual contribution.
Ask The Other Person an Insightful Question: Asking an insightful question does two things. First it shows maturity and insight. Second, most people prefer to talk rather than listen, and it gives you an opportunity to pick up on things to respond or relate to. Building conversation momentum can help establish rapport and create an opportunity to showcase your competence.
Update Your Resume and LinkedIn: To prevent the mental math that people may do when they look at your resume or profile, take your graduation years off your resume and LinkedIn profile. Once you reach a point in your career where you’ve had multiple assignments, you can consolidate companies and roles under a “Previous Experience” section of your resume that does not need to show when you were there.
Recognize A Lost Cause: Sometimes despite your best efforts, people are going to let their mircrobias win out. Recognize when that happens and think about what it means for you and your relationship with the individual. If it’s a critical relationship, recognize that you’ll need to invest more time and energy with this person. If it’s not, cut your losses and invest your time and energy with more meaningful relationships.
